One sunlit afternoon I received a letter. What it said saved my back. Literally.
Dear bearer of the buttocks,
I am writing to you to communicate some of my pain that has been bothering me for quite some time now.
I have been loyal to you all these years. I have never uttered a word. How could I? I was always ready to take the pull, the drag and the weight in every corner.
But I feel now is the time that I finally spoke up. I figured you will not mind reading this small letter from your humble servant.
You seem to read a lot. Those heavy books with more than a thousand pages; I have seen you pour over them day in and day out. Then there are the blogs on your magic machine. Oh yes. I notice the blogs with words of literature and art. Some express religion views and politics. You also seem to like complete and utter gibberish at times. But I do not judge.
Sometimes you gaze endlessly at moving pictures and laugh, cry, express emotions that I do not recognise. Also there are times when you sing in a heinous tone. Yet I never leave your side. Instead I give you a place to rest your back and relax. In fact, I have never uttered a word of complain even after you added pounds after pounds of heavyweight. I did not whine when you dragged me time and again to different places to stand upon me to reach a higher space. Nor did I flinch at unexpected release of aroma.
My bearer, I am only a slave to serve you, and I know I should not ask for anything. I should not utter a word. After all I am a slave. Freedom of dialect is not in my dominion.
Yet I write to you. To express myself. Because you abandoned me. I know I should bow to your whim. But you abandoned me. You bought that new velvety red lecherous creature who bends and spins to your every wish. I have seen that it is soft and plush. But bearer it will do you no good. It will not be loyal. You will commit sins. That is not how my bearer should live. I can help you counter spike and bristle as you grow old. I can still tolerate the ache of pounds. This I say because I am loyal and I am loyal only to you.
Old Wooden Chair